Copenhagen: Ten Reasons Why Not To Visit Denmark

Posted on July 17, 2006

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christiania.jpg 

by sabine behrmann

Danes prefer tourists to any other kind of foreigners: they admire the country, pay an awful lot of money for dubious services, and leave again rather quickly.

In a fit of anti-nationalism the Danish newspaper Politikenn has now pointed out ten reasons why people should not visit Denmark. They are:

1. Istedgade – former hallmarks: prostitution, pornography – there is still some of it left in the neighbourhood of the main station.
2. Tivoli – a must for tourists, getting gaudier and louder all the time.

Photo Credit: Limungo

3. Strøget – the pedestrian zone in central Copenhagen. You can find better shopping facilities in other places.
4. The free City of Christiania – clean and law-abiding and a far cry from what it was meant to be.
5. Den lille Havfrue – The Little Mermaid. Tiny girl with a fish-tail.
6. Holger Danske – a block of concrete in the basement of Kronborg Castle. Since the German’s have the Kyffhäuser legend and the English have King Arthur, the Danes wanted a similar story about a national hero. However, they weren’t able to come up with a king for the occasion…
7. H.C. Andersen’s house – in Odense. It’s an example of a town capitalizing on their famous son who would never have amounted to much had he stayed there.
8. Pølsevognen – the Sausage Van. An assault on your health – that is what it is.
9, Dronning Margrethe. Fancies herself as an artist and sports poor dentistry.
10. Himmelbjerget – it’s actually a hill. But don’t tell the Danes – they have put a tower on its top in order to get even closer to the sky. There’s nothing heavenly about it.

Personally I would like to add the Viking fortress Trelleborg. It took me years to get over that disappointment.